Archive for the ‘People’ Category

I love Heather from Eastenders

June 3, 2008

My flatmate Grant (or Granny as we have renamed him) got me into Eastenders around Christmas time. I’d never been a massive fan at any time in my life really. I would dip in here and there when things got particularly interesting. I was obviously on the edge of my seat for weeks during the whole Trevor vs Wee Mo incident but besides that there is little I remember. Granny had been back home for Christmas and got into the habit of watching it daily with his mum. Given this intense period of Eastenders viewing he was able to get a pretty good grasp of what was going on in Albert Square and was soon hooked.

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I love Lily Allen

April 15, 2008

Now this may be controversial, but I Love Lily Allen. Not her music, or maybe not even her personality – I can’t really say having never met her. But I do love her general appearance. She is the exact epitome of a celebrity who I think is quite fit but not hot enough to be totally inaccessible. That’s not to say I think I could necessarily dampen a digit backstage at Lily Allen and Friends, but she has a definite tawdry edge. On top of that, I think she may embody the safe middle-class version of my mild fetish for sluts with lots of gold jewellery – like the girl who used to deliver papers on my street in Air Max 90s, a ton of gold, and a boob tube. But (I hope) without the chronic syphilis and gonorrhea that I am sure she had.

I love Sharpe

April 3, 2008

SharpeI love Sharpe. We all know The Sopranos, The Wire, 24 and so on are the inanely hip, gripping series for our generation. But I really must say that nothing in my world beats a night in watching Sean Bean rage through the arid fields of Portugal or France in his beautiful emerald green uniform slaying the rotten Frenchies. Every episode there is a new wench, her milky white bosom surging out of her corset, her delicate curls framing her so very English face. Then there is the never-ending thrill of class related conflicts. Sharpe, being raised from the ranks is an officer – but not a gentleman. This leads to many a duel with snotty officers who haven’t even had a whiff of the black powder upon the field of battle or so much glanced a French eagle standard, let alone capture one at the battle of Talevera like Sharpe did. I have sadly finished my Sharpe box set and am now battling through the lonely evenings without the company of that swarthy Yorkshire man and his chosen men. Woe is indeed me.

I love shitty magazines

March 9, 2008

Magazines

My love of shitty magazines is what you would call a guilty pleasure. By shitty magazines, I mean the lower-end titles such as Closer, Reveal, Pick Me Up and Love It!. The ones that are around £1 or under.

I dearly love the random mix of celebrity insight, real-life scandal, fashion, and inane puzzles that fill their cheap glossy pages. My true soft spot is for the real-life stories from fruit and nut bars across the land desperate to share their tales of mortifying grossness and horror for £150.

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I love John Conner

February 17, 2008

Edfurlong2Edward Furlong was the raddest 13-year-old the human race has ever seen. As John Conner in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, he’€™d wake up, tell his foster parents to fuck off, hop on a dirt bike and cruise to the mall where he’d hack cash machines and use the money to play arcade games all day long. Oh yeah, he also beat up android assassins made of intelligent liquid metal sent from the future (to prevent him from later in life leading a guerrilla army of humans to triumph over the machines). So last week I Googled Edward Furlong and happened across his MySpace. Playing on his page he’€™s got a cover version of “€œPeople Are Strange” that he released in Japan in 1992. And guess what? It’s the worst piece-of-shit karaoke track I€’ve ever heard. But that didn’€™t put me off messaging and then befriending Eddie (as I now call him). Turns out he’€™s a really nice guy who has had a few problems in the past but is now back on the up.

I love hanging out with Pegah

February 10, 2008

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It was a super nice day on Saturday so me and my friend Pegah decided to have a fun day out…

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