Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

I love ALF

February 29, 2008

ALFPeople who know me will already be aware of my deep and sincere love of ALF. I’ve been in love with him since the first day our eyes met across my living room – he was on the TV “checking out the fridge” and I was sitting mesmerised chewing on a Wham bar. This must have been about 18 years ago and our love has only grown stronger and stronger by the day since then. I would describe our relationship as a wonderful, soft fuzzy dream where life is simply perfect now and forever more.

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I love jellyfish

February 22, 2008

Jellyfish are amazing. They lurch about, looking like your first 20 attempts at a poached egg; no eyes, no opposable thumb. But watch what humans (especially surfers) do when they come near – they smear their baggy three quarter length Billabong shorts and start pissing on one another (not so “grody” now, are we “bro”?). They’re also the closest thing we have to ghosts – graceful, otherworldly, and pretty scary. They even come encased in ectoplasm like Slimer from Ghostbusters!

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I love Tube mice

February 18, 2008

Tube mouse

I am not really a vermin lover, before you get the wrong end of the twig. I will, however, say that I do think mice and pigeons (even rats at a push but only if you can’t see their tails and probably more in cartoon form than live rats) are pretty cute to look at it in pictures. So, as much as I am not really into vermin I do have a marshmallowy soft spot for tube mice. When I say tube mice I, of course, mean the cute teeny-weeny little ones that spend their lives scuttling around the tracks of the shitty London tube stations probably spending the majority of their time dining on leftover shreds of doner kebab meat, Subway sandwich crusts and lapping up dribbles from a discarded Strongbow can whilst also managing to avoid a pretty gruesome death under the wheel of a Northern Line southbound train.

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