Archive for March, 2008

I love small boobs

March 12, 2008

Small boobs

Mmmmm. I love small boobies. Yum. Thinking about them makes me so happy I feel like I have just watched It’s A Wonderful Life 12 times in a row while eating two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice-cream. It’s a warm, dreamy feeling. And totally non-sexual. Well, maybe a bit sexual, actually.


I love mushrooms

March 10, 2008


No, silly, not those hallucinogens that university students experiment with after becoming bored with the inanity of smoking eighteen spliffs every day. I am talking about the mushrooms that you eat. There are so many different types to choose from and they’re all delicious. Button mushrooms, shiitake, oyster mushrooms. I don’t see why there isn’t a mushroom shop on every high street. I could easily imagine an independent chain called The Happy Mushroom. I mean, there are cheese shops everywhere and those places reek of putrefying dog sick.


I love shitty magazines

March 9, 2008


My love of shitty magazines is what you would call a guilty pleasure. By shitty magazines, I mean the lower-end titles such as Closer, Reveal, Pick Me Up and Love It!. The ones that are around £1 or under.

I dearly love the random mix of celebrity insight, real-life scandal, fashion, and inane puzzles that fill their cheap glossy pages. My true soft spot is for the real-life stories from fruit and nut bars across the land desperate to share their tales of mortifying grossness and horror for £150.